Parental separation: adults recalling what they experienced as children when their parents separated

Abstract

Parental separation is a very common phenomenon in contemporary New Zealand society and it is a trend that is likely to continue over the years ahead. The place and effects on the children involved in the separation process is not always given recognition. There is no statistics to show the number of children involved in parental separation but my indication is that there are a great number. This thesis examines what children experience when their parents separate. The main focus has been to find out the major short and long-term effects for children of parental separation. A supplementary focus was to find out what support networks children have in times of crisis. Because I wanted in-depth understanding of what children experience when their parents separate I used qualitative methodology, which allowed me to get an insider perspective of my topic. My main method was eight in-depth interviews with women ranging from age nineteen to fifty years of age, who as children or adolescents went through parental separation. My two original assumptions were that children were neglected especially by their parents in the separation process and the other was that social services were not informed enough about the effects of parental separation. I found both assumptions to be true and that if children are not supported during the grief processing of their parents' separation this can lead to long term effects such as insecurity and problems with developing relationships which may never be resolved. I concluded that the areas such as social services, which include social workers, need to be more informed of the needs of children especially during the initial stages of separation and social policy makers need to adopt policies to cater for these needs. Recent Social policy initiatives such as Strengthening Families and Social Workers in schools are making headways towards this goal. This thesis is another means of making parents, professionals and the public aware of not only the effects of parental separation but also the needs of children for any crisis situation.