The lifeworlds of grief: illuminating the lived experience of family members after a loved one has completed suicide

Abstract

For family members (survivors) left behind by the suicidal death of a loved one, the suffering, the wondering why and the pain of bereavement remain, sometimes for the rest of their lives. This research is an exploration and interpretation of the life experiences of six survivors after the loss of a close family member to suicide. Literature reviewed indicates both a paucity of recent and of New Zealand based research in this area (Demi & Howell, 1991; Rivers, 1995; Van Dongen, 1990, 1991a, 1991b, 1993). Heidegger's (1927/1962) hermeneutic phenomenology informed by van Manen (1997a, 1997b) has been selected as the methodology, because it is most likely to reveal ontological understandings of what losing a loved one to suicide means to survivors. In-depth unstructured interviews with six participants, bereaved between two and nine years previously, were conducted. Using the process of thematic analysis, analysis of specific episodes or situations (van Manen, 1997a), and searching for paradigm cases (Benner, 1984, 1985) participants' experiences were illuminated from their narratives. Reflections and insights both from the researcher's journal and the published literature further contributed to the creation of a picture of the lived experience of these suicide survivors. Surviving suicide for these six participants involved a process of living and grieving that ebbed and flowed, changing shape and form over time to eventually give rise to a different way of being-in-the-world. This became a transformative process for these survivors insofar as the impact of their loved one's suicide brought about profound changes in each of their lifeworlds. The process of grief in Heideggerian (1927/1962) terms involved survivors entering and weaving through the different lifeworlds of thrown-ness, chaos, dreaming, fear, stigma and shame, blame, questioning, reflecting on relationship, guilt, anger and searching for reminders. This was not a linear experience. Rather these survivors entered and weaved in and out of different lifeworlds at different times, returning to them again and again until in time they were then born into a new lifeworld characterised by new beginnings in their lives. This study is likely to be of interest to health clinicians such as nurses, doctors, social workers, psychologists and bereavement counsellors working in the mental health area. In coming to understand the lived experience of suicide survivors health professionals working with survivors may be more able to live and work as beings-towards-death (Heidegger, 1927/1962), and continue to exhibit care towards survivors who may come to face the reality of living with the experience of losing a loved one to suicide. Consumers of survivor groups and of the mental health services will also find this study of use as will researchers intending to use a phenomenological approach to their field of inquiry. Recommendations in regard to promoting effective relationships between families and health clinicians and the management of disclosing health information within current legislation are made. Recommendations for further research include exploring gender differences in experiencing grief, the meaning of having a sensitive nature, and what interventions survivors find most effective during bereavement.